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Posts Tagged ‘fulfilment’

The first step in any change process is assessment.  Whether it is a business proposition, a lifestyle choice, a career move or the purchase of a new home, we take stock and measure the viability of staying with the old as against the implications of taking on the new.

But how often do we assess our own lives that carefully?  How often do we take stock of where we are and question whether we are really serving ourselves well with the choices we have made?  Self-assessment is the path to self-awareness and the portal to transformation. Knowing yourself is the precondition for effective change.

In conflict coaching, self-awareness forms the lion’s share of the coaching process.  Becoming aware of how one responds, why one responds as one does and how well one’s conflict responses and habits serve one is the unconditional groundwork for change.   There are various tools and formal assessments available to assist in the process but these only make sense if they are supported by self-awareness inquiries on the part of the client as regards far more fundamental issues in life.   I like to ask my clients to start the self-awareness process by assessing their lives on a scale of 1 – 10 (1 being at the negative and 10 at the positive ends of the scale) according to a number of  statements.  Here are a handful of those I think are most useful to start the personal stocktaking process:

(1) I know my personal values and they guide my life

(2) I know myself and like who I am

(3) I have a set of standards for my life by which I live

(4) I have no unresolved issues in my past

(5) I don’t let people take advantage of me

(6) I tolerate very little

(7) I easily find pleasure in simple things

(8) I know that my life is a result of my choices

(9) I am  not driven or  motivated by unmet needs

(10) I have a life plan and am working on it

Sitting down to answer these is often an eye-opening experience that marks the beginning of the self-awareness process and gives the client a first reading of where change is needed or where growth has been stagnant.

So in much the same way as a business would justify stocktaking – to give true value to the profit and loss reading at the end of the balance sheet, so too do we profit from personal stocktaking:  through heightened self-awareness and a conscious assessment of where we stand in our lives are we able to determine what the next steps have to be to reach greater fulfilment.

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